Why I Took a Break From Meditation

550+ days. That's how long my streak was in Headspace when it ended. Over a year and a half of meditating, day in and day out, 10 minutes each morning. The streak had survived multiple holidays and a multi-week vacation in Japan. What eventually killed it? Funnily enough, it was a technical glitch of all things. I had woken up one day, dutifully sat through 10 minutes of Andy Puddicombe's voice, but when it came time to finish the meditation and update my streak I only saw an error message. The next morning my streak was over.

I felt supremely annoyed. I had worked hard for that streak! How could a mere glitch end it? I spent the rest of the day in a disgruntled funk.

Have you spotted the problem yet? I had lost sight of my true goal. Meditation is supposed to be the practice of mindfulness. All those hours spent in silence had not added up to make me more mindful. Somewhere along the way I had stopped meditating for the sake of it and started meditating just to keep up the streak.

I decided to stop meditating not because my streak was over, but because I needed some time to internalize that lesson. I do want to start meditating again though. How am I going to avoid running into this same issue? For that, I'm going to turn to one of my favorite Buddhist stories called "the glass is already broken":

You see this goblet? For me, this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on a shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, 'Of course.' When I understand that this glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious. (adapted from Thoughts Without a Thinker: Psychotherapy from a Buddhist Perspective by Mark Epstein)

This is one of my favorite stories because of the way it deals with endings and acceptance. The next time I build up a streak I will remember that at some point in the future that streak must end. The important thing isn't to build up a long streak, it's to practice being mindful.

For the past few months I've been taking a break from meditation. Recently though I feel like I'm ready to get back into it and I've been trying out different meditation apps. Do you have a favorite app for meditation or mindfulness? Send me an email.

Funny side story: After I used one meditation app I received an email urging me to purchase a subscription - if I ordered within 24 hours I would get a 40% off discount. That's a prime example of a company taking advantage of the "fear of missing out" to incite a purchase. Not particularly mindful though, hmm?