Can seeking popularity lead to burnout?
Photo by Miguel Henriques on Unsplash
I recently read the book Popular by Mitch Prinstein. The book is an interesting dive into the social science behind popularity and why people seek it. My biggest insight from the book is that there are two types of popularity: status and likability. It got me thinking about whether trying to seek popularity could lead to burnout.
The first type of popularity is status. This type is about how well-known you are and your ranking compared to other people. Status is what most people think of when they define the word "popular". At work, status comes with titles and climbing the corporate ladder. This type of popularity is fleeting. You will need to spend time re-establishing status if you decide to work somewhere else.
The other type of popularity is likability. This type is about the ability to establish great relationships with other people. At work, likability comes with being friendly and helpful with your coworkers. The book presents a lot of evidence that this type of popularity is healthier than status. Even if you move to a different company, your ability to be likable is something that can come with you.
So can seeking popularity lead to burnout? It depends on the type of popularity. The second scale of burnout is depersonalization, which happens when you lose your personal connection to your work. Making status your focus can lead to burnout because you spend your time trying to get a bigger title. On the other hand, making likability your focus can help you connect to your coworkers in a genuine way.
How do you gain likability? To answer that I will turn to one of my favorite books, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's an old book but is still one of the most popular self-help books out there. Here are a few of Dale's tips:
Become genuinely interested in other people. "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. "To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering."
Make a point to remember people's name. "Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
What do you think about the different types of popularity? Send me an email.